Well, last week was certainly weird. I experienced a snapshot of life. From the celebration of two new cousins births, to a wedding celebration, and lastly, my grandfather's funeral. The range of emotions over the course of this weekend were, to say the least, extreme.
Wednesday, November the 12th, my Grandfather passed away after years of struggling with Alzheimer's. I write this post with a mix of emotions, not knowing really were to begin. Funerals are funny things.
It was hard watching my grandmother touch the cold hands of her deceased husband, and it was even harder to watch her touch his cheek and run her hands through his hair. But I watched mesmerized as she touched her fingers from her lips to his time and time again which sent my mind racing back in time to when they first kissed so many years ago. And then to their wedding day. It was both the most beautiful and painful thing I have ever seen at the same time.
The funeral continued on and many remarks were made telling of the various qualities and eccentricities of my grandfather. How he could fix anything. How if you asked him if he wanted a scoop ice cream he would always say, "I believe I will." Then one of these remarks caught my heart more than any of the others. It was about how he would often have a glimmer of a tear in his eye as he would listen to his classical music. Up until that point I had held it together, not that I was even trying, it was at that point that I felt my bottom lip pulled uncontrollably down and out from me, my facial muscles beyond any control, the tears streaming from my eyes. As I sat and listened, I realized though I have surely have been told before, how much I am like my grandfather. And how much I miss him.
Though he had been gone for a long, long time because of Alzheimer's, his body had not left, and therefore the emotions of that loss had been lying in wait. I remember after I returned from London and I saw my grandfather for the first time in months. He looked up at me and smiled warmly, walked over to me reached out his hand and said "How do you do? I'm Joe." To which I responded "I'm good Joe, nice to meet you." As I talked to him later I told him that he reminded me of someone, someone that I had the highest respect for, to which he just smiled and winked. Time slips away from us so quickly. There is so much I wanted to learn from him, to continue to learn from him. And while sitting on that pew thinking back over the years, I realized that I am still learning from him and that I always will be.
I love you, granddaddy. I will miss you. This is for you.
Coldplay - "Fix You"
"Fix You" sung by Young At Heart
Jared this is beautiful, it made me cry all over again. We are so blessed to know that we will meet grandaddy again in heaven-and it will be even better. I agree with you, the funeral was the oddest mix of joy, pain, hope, and grief that I've ever known. You really see sin and evil in death--but at the same time I felt so close to heaven. God is so merciful to have provided a way for us to be with Him one day-and that takes away the sting.
ReplyDeleteThat is beautiful stuff, friend. Peace to you.
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